Where the Butterflies Go

Heather Grace Stewart: Author, Poet, Photographer

The Pilot

Little girl,
golden curls bouncing,
tries to run in
lime green rain boots.

“Hi Daddy! Look! It’s
Daddy!” she shrieks,
quickens her pace to greet him.
Arms up high.
Full speed ahead.
Lips pursed in concentration,
she jumps, groans, tries to
touch the sun.
We laugh, but
stop ourselves from
saying, “you can’t.”

Little girl,
golden curls bouncing,
runs home in rain boots,
dreaming of jet planes.

StayinAlive

June 21, 2009 - Posted by heather grace stewart | Beautiful Chaos, Children, Family, Family life, Hope, Kids, Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenthood, Parenting, Poem about parenthood, Poems about Fathers and Daughters, Poems about marriage, Poems about motherhood, Poems about parenthood, Poems about partners, Poetry, Relationships, Stories about Parenthood, Toddlers, Writing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

7 Comments »

  1. The green boots that could..and she’d run till the wind
    laughed and lifted her up .. a little finch fleet and
    fast said hi …look out for the big blue sky ..
    and he sang her song of knows and whys…..this little girl with the green boots…her daddy lifted her high …
    she did fly….that fine day ..

    Comment by serge | June 21, 2009 | Reply

  2. Gorgeous image – for me the best bit is:
    stop ourselves from saying, “you can’t.”
    That has such an effect on a child!

    I would put the line breaks in completely different places – most of them, i’m afraid! Is it taking too much of a liberty to offer this?
    Little girl, golden
    curls bouncing,
    tries to run
    in lime green rain boots.

    “Hi Daddy! Look!
    It’s Daddy!” she shrieks,
    quickens her pace to greet him.

    Arms up high.
    Full speed ahead.
    Lips pursed in concentration,

    she jumps, groans, tries
    to touch the sun.
    We laugh,
    but stop ourselves
    from saying, “you can’t.”

    Little girl,
    golden curls bouncing,
    runs home in rain boots,
    dreaming of jet planes.

    I would also like to change quickens her pace to greet him into speeds to greet him, and perhaps saying, “you can’t” into calling, “you can’t” (for alliteration, and sound in general).

    And i thought of replacing dreaming of jet planes with soaring with jet planes, cos dreaming strikes me as a little clichéd. And possibly removing the word Hi.

    All this is (a) nitpicking and (b) your decision, of course. Really this is a lovely poem.

    Comment by mand | June 24, 2009 | Reply

    • I hope you wanted critique! ;0)

      Comment by mand | June 24, 2009 | Reply

    • Sure, I’m always open to critique. This has already been published a few times, in journals and in my collection, but thanks for your thoughts.

      Comment by heather grace stewart | July 2, 2009 | Reply

  3. Hope i didn’t convey the wrong ‘tone of voice’ – sometimes i get carried away changing other people’s writing. Usually that tells me it’s a good time to go and rework some of my own!

    Can’t remember if i have commented here in the past as mand, or as mmSeason – so i may have seemed to be someone you’d never heard of. I have been neglecting my online friends for a while so wouldn’t be surprised if most have forgotten me.

    I do love the picture this poem paints.

    Comment by mand | July 3, 2009 | Reply

    • No, please don’t worry – I appreciated the comments. I can’t grow as a poet if I don’t get critique as well as praise. :)
      H

      Comment by heather grace stewart | July 3, 2009 | Reply

  4. Perfect!

    Comment by flash | July 7, 2009 | Reply


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